Formation · <div id="hs_cos_wrapper_email_title" class="hs_cos_wrapper hs_cos_wrapper_widget hs_cos_wrapper_type_module widget-type-text" style="color: inherit; font-size: inherit; line-height: inherit;" data-hs-cos-general-type="widget" data-hs-cos-type="module" ><div id="hs_cos_wrapper_email_title_" class="hs_cos_wrapper hs_cos_wrapper_widget hs_cos_wrapper_type_text" style="color: inherit; font-size: inherit; line-height: inherit;" data-hs-cos-general-type="widget" data-hs-cos-type="text" >Issue 011 — The Gift of Guides for the Journey</div></div>

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The science & soul of spiritual flourishing

From

John Ortberg

Many years ago a wise friend named Max DePree told me he had a little cabinet or secretariat of three people who served as mentors or guides or wisdom figures for his life. He would keep questions about his life and faith and family and work and learning during the week, and then once a month check in with each of these three.

Max was wayyyyy smarter than me, so I thought if he could benefit from that I need it twice as much. Which has turned out to be true. — John

In This Issue

Recent Research

An Italian craftsman working in bronze, New York City, 1930

A major study of Americans shows that mentoring is associated not just with achievement but with a stronger sense of self, belonging, community, exploration, and well-being. But during these increasingly challenging times, the young people who need mentors most may still be the least likely to have them.

Can a mentor’s influence last long after mentoring ends? This report indicates that people mentored as young adults tended to report greater life satisfaction later in life—regardless of family income. The findings suggest that mentoring may be one form of social capital that helps lay a foundation for lifelong well-being.ⁱ

What about wise companions who don’t give advice, solve problems, or assist with goal attainment—but help others notice God’s presence and discern his invitation? In a recent scientific inquiry, Christian school teachers who received spiritual direction reported greater vocational clarity, self-awareness, resilience, and integration of their faith with their work.ⁱⁱ

i. Can’t remember who said it (maybe it was ME! No, I don’t think so), but mostly in life we want a map, and we are offered a guide. With a map I can still be in control and choose where and when. Which is not always good for my soul.

ii. People often wonder what exactly ‘spiritual direction’ is. We could think of it like this: coaches give us guidance in pursuing our goals; mentors give us wisdom in whatever areas of life we ask for; therapists are equipped to help move us toward psychological health. The particular expertise of a spiritual director is that they help us pay attention to God. Instead of asking ‘how will you solve this?’, they ask ‘What might God be saying?’

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I have found no one who remotely compares with Jesus Christ as a practical guide to how things are and should be in human life. — Dallas Willard, Renewing the Christian Mind

In the Field

Who helps Christian leaders attend to their own souls—especially when they face difficulty and disillusionment? SoulFormation is convinced that, to be whole, every leader needs a soul friend to help them attend to God’s work in their lives. Before we can help others, we need other people to help us.ⁱ

Sustainable Faith adds a focus on the creation of sustainable, spiritually healthy cultures among Christian leaders and communities. Their collective of spiritual directors and pastors offers schools of spiritual direction, neighborhood life, and Ignatian spirituality. The result? Fellowships that pour themselves out from a deeper well.

But compassionate companionship must also attend to the whole person. Like the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz, many have lost touch with their emotions. Tin Man Ministries offers coaching, mentoring, consulting, and guidance for people who are on a journey to rediscover—and live from—their heart.ⁱⁱ

i. Eugene Peterson once wrote that for most of human history it was expected that a person would have a spiritual director.

ii. Waiting for someone to start “Scarecrow Ministries…” for people who keep making dumb mistakes. If I only had a brain…

Data Point

i. In my Formation conversation with Kara Powell, one of the most striking observations was the need for the church to shift paradigms on adult/young person ratios. The old ratio was: get 1 adult volunteer per 5 youths attending an event. But better is: every young person needs 5 adults investing in their lives.

Figures reported by Church Hill Classics.

Soul Talk

Though our culture commends independence and autonomy, Christ-shaped soul formation can’t be a solo affair; spiritual friendship is required. But not just any friend will do. According to Sacred Companions, we need partners capable of prayerful, guided attunement to God’s activity in our lives.ⁱ

Reading Your Life’s Story adds that spiritual mentoring involves learning how to read another’s story in the presence of the Holy Spirit. And this kind of reading isn’t easy. It requires commitment, preparation, and practice to learn how to listen well, ask good questions, and exercise discernment and accountability.ⁱⁱ

But Spiritual Mentoring invites all Christians to this age-old practice—not just saints and super-Christians. All Jesus followers longing for companionship and guidance are welcome. There’s plenty of help. The book features the work of such ancient writers as Augustine, John of the Cross, Julian of Norwich, and Teresa of Ávila.

i. It’s fascinating that in AA ‘spiritual direction’ is precisely what is offered by ‘sponsors’. They help the sponsee ‘do the program.’ If you don’t have a good ‘program’, there will be little possibility for helpful ‘direction.’ Part of the brilliance of AA is that ‘working the program’ is also ‘training for sponsorship.’ If we ever get spiritual direction right in the Church I think it will look like that.

ii. My friend Kevin says that ‘trusting the process’ simply means believing that an honest and sincere conversation will lead to helpful outcomes if I plunge into it with an open heart, trusting that God will lead us to places we don’t anticipate ahead of time. Conversation.